some days are good

and some days you just can't help but cry.

Today was one of those days. One of the days where you have to walk out of the classroom after five minutes in tears, all because of one child who you really don't like. I know that it is awful to not like someone, especially a child, but this particular little girl is so difficult to teach. In that five minutes, I honestly had one of the worst teaching days of my life. I can handle a lot. Remember when I first started teaching? How I was pinched, hit, and things were constantly being thrown across the room? Well, she is worse. And maybe it is just because we only have 2 and a half weeks of teaching left, and we already have our classroom management down, and our children listen to us. Well, she doesn't listen. No matter what you do, she won't stay in her seat. She gets up and runs around the classroom. She makes sure to get into all of the supplies. She doesn't understand one bit of English, and as a result, our constant efforts to get her to sit down, stay in her seat, pay attention, and listen, are all a big waste of time and energy. Not to mention our other students are learning diddly squat because we spend the whole lesson dealing with her. Really, it is just too much to handle.

When Miss Rachel and I were doing opening, and we saw her walk in, our souls died a little bit inside. The thought of teaching her was too much, because when we taught her for the first time a week before, it did not go well. Because we hadn't seen her again, we had hope that she wasn't  ever coming back... but then she did. One of our classes only had one student, so we combined. Miss Rachel taught, while I took a break (which I'm sure didn't help any because all I could think about was how much I dreaded the thought of teaching her). The whole break I was sick to my stomach. It was awful. When I went go switch classes with Miss Rachel, she told me that it wasn't actually that bad, and that made me feel a little bit better. We got into class, and I decided to just have a positive attitude. Besides I can handle anything for twenty minutes.

Or so I thought. In the first five minutes of class she managed to get up, grab everything, run in and out of the class, refuse to stay in her seat, tap her feet incessantly, and not listen to a word I said. I lasted five minutes. Five. I didn't even make it through the rules before I had to run out of the class in tears because it was just too much and I couldn't handle it. I told our coordinator that I couldn't teach her, and she couldn't be in my class. And then, once she was out, I had to go back in and teach. So I took a few deep breaths, put on my happy face, and remembered how much I love each of my sweet kids that were waiting on me.

So, today was rough, and I still had to teach her again for another twenty minutes, but it went better, and I knew that there was no expectation for her to stay in my class. If she misbehaved, out she went. At one point I had to bring her out because she was crying (I wouldn't let her have something, and she kept saying the same thing over and over in Russian). She returned and then I continued to teach. And I only had to tell her to not throw, stay in her seat, and only speak English about a billion times, but I survived. And hopefully she will not be coming back. And if she does, I will just remember that I can do hard things, and that I one problem child shouldn't ruin my whole day.

On another note, well still a teaching note, but a happier one, yesterday was really good. We had a good morning, and then our second group of kids didn't come. Except for one (who was almost twenty minutes late). Liza, one of my favorites. We read books, listened to Christmas music, colored pictures, played dress up, and danced to our hearts content. 

It was a good day. :) And it made me realize just how much I am going to miss teaching my sweet kids. As Miss Rachel put it "I can't imagine leaving these kids that squirmed their way into my heart while dumping glitter and throwing cotton balls everywhere."  And that is exactly how I feel about them. We only have two and a half more weeks. That's it. And of those two and a half weeks, we are only teaching lessons the whole day twice. Tomorrow, and Thursday. After that, it is all about Christmas, and prepping for our Christmas Program on the last day of school.

Everything is happening so quickly, and I don't even know what to feel anymore. I am SO happy about going home where I will get to see my family, and spend time with them. I am excited about finishing my mission papers, and finding out where I will be called to serve. I am excited about American food, and home cooked meals. I am excited about having a car, and not having to take public transportation all the time. But in the midst of all of that joy is a whole lot of sadness. I can't believe how much I have come to love Ukraine. I love all of the wonderful people that I have met her, and I love my students. I love all of the cool places that I have gotten to go, and the cool things that I have seen. I love all of the memories that I have of this place, and I'm not ready to leave it yet. Believe it or not, Ukraine is starting to feel like home.

And because I haven't written something everyday, here is a day by day update of the last week.

November 18: Teaching

November 19: Teaching, and dinner at Limonade with the Relief Society sisters.

:) It was so yummy!

November 20: Teaching and Russian Lessons

Missing one class throws you off so badly! Luckily, my teacher is awesome, and helped explain some of the things that I missed (and weren't easy to pick up on by myself)

November 21: Teaching and Open Doors

Last open doors of the semester. :) And it went well. It's nice to have that little hurdle out of the way.

November 22: Teaching and I locked myself out of my room
And, I even made a whole blog post about it. :) Here is something I did while I was wasting time at the school.

I drew a picture of Rudolph. :) Don't worry, I had to look at a picture to draw it.

Here is the message Zach wrote. :)

November 23: Pie and Center of Kyiv

Oh my goodness! Such a fun day. Rachel and I went to a Relief Society pie crust making party at one of the counselor's house. :) And let me tell you, it was SO MUCH FUN! I loved hanging out and learning different tips and tricks for making pie. :) Rachel and I made a sour cream and butter based pie crust with peaches and cream filling. So yummy!

Outside of my apartment, waiting for Rachel.

That building in the back with the green stripe? That's my home. 

Rachel with our pie crust. :)

With our pie! :) Ready to go in the oven. 

This is a cherry pie that some of the other Sisters made. 

After making pie, we went home to our apartments and took naps. The only thing keeping me from staying in bed, was PIE! Rachel and I met up, and made our trek to the church building for a brach pie party. :) I may or may not have eaten twelve pieces of pie, and that is not an exaggeration.

I love that the church is right next to the temple. :)

The first of four plates. 

After eating our fair share of pie, and then some, we headed to St. Michael's Cathedral where there was a memorial of some sort going on. Outside of the church there were lots of candles that had been lit in memory of a genocide that happened sometime in 1932-1933.

This is the little memorial.

And this is where one of the protests where held the next day.

November 24: Slept in Late, and Soccer Game

I accidentally slept in late, so to make up for missing church, I finished watching General Conference. It was SO good! That night, we went to a Kiev Dynamos Soccer game, which was pretty cool. Oh! And went I got home, my host family fed me. :) I even got some yummy cake!

Outside of the Stadium. It was SUPER foggy!

The other side of the stadium was cheering, and jumping up and down. :)

After the game, while walking to the metro. :)

November 25: Teaching

November 26: Today.